Cinahilger's Blog


Here I am at the Mill again, surrounded by a crowd of people at the little round tables. People meeting family or old friends, chuckling or gossiping or looking down into their mugs shyly.

And even though I don’t know any of them, I like coming here. I like being around these people.

This week, my room feels grey. Despite the plants and the paintings and the wadded up t shirt remnants (I’m cutting out squares for a t shirt quilt, you see) it seems grey in there. The light filtering through the blinds seems starkly white and cold, and the halls of my apartment feel like a mortuary.

But out here it feels like vibrant technicolor, like a Kodachrome picture that I’ve placed myself within.

You know that feeling of inevitability that shows up towards the end of a really great vacation or break? It’s here in force now, and it was when I was awoken at 5 am and lay there, staring at my ceiling.

I have absolutely nothing to do today, you see. And it follows in the form of all of the weeks of this Christmas break. Instead of feeling luxuriously lazy and appreciative of this time away from schoolwork, I find myself stressed because I know these last few days are slipping through my fingers, and I can’t think of a way to utilize them fully.

So once again as I sat on my bed and pulled on my pants and watched the white sun illuminate the grey dust on top of my black TV, I decided to escape before I turned grey, too. Now I sit at a green table, wearing a blue and red flowered dress, and even though I’m not really doing anything, at least I’m among people. People who, just like me, could easily be drinking coffee at their house. But they wanted to get out too; to go somewhere with the liveliness brought by other people.

And now together, these people and I, we make up this Kodachrome picture.

(P.S. I know this piece is in stark contrast to the one before it, which grumpily insisted everyone else go home. I would take that piece down, but that wouldn’t be very honest, now would it?)